Finding My Inner Bombshell

Oh the horror I felt today when I actually took the time to examine myself in the mirror. OMG! was all that I could think. So I knew by the grumble I hear from my jeans every morning that I was starting to pack on the inches. But hey, if the size 4 still zips, I'm going to wear it! Loooking in the mirror I found myself appearing as a condensed version of the Before pictures on the NutriSystem ads- Not cute!

So with the threat of the dreaded swimsuit season quickly approaching, and just the influence of my own self pride and image being shattered, I quickly decided something had to be done and FAST! This obviously does not happen overnight; actually it has been a slow progression since I quit nursing the twins last August. No it is not the eating. You see I am allergic to every good indulgence and calorie-filled morsel out there, (except Rice Krispies treats, and that marshmallowy goodness is one of the only indulgences aside from the wine that I have left and refuse to part with) (I say no to dairy, potatoes, caffeine, beans, and gluten for fear of a raging evil migraine which completely kicks my ass every time it shows its ugly face). and that means, my friends that the problem is definitely inactivity.

Yes we all made those shallow resolutions on the 1st to exercise more, lose weight, feel great, blah, blah, blah. Well folks, I have not strayed too far from keeping that resolution. I have been doing a series of workout videos in the comfort of my own home for about 45 min each day. (The girls really think they are doing me a favor when they sit on my stomache during crunches and ab time. Thanks ladies!). I have become addicted I think to Gunnar Peterson's Core Secrets workouts. You can really feel that what you're doing is working, and aside from having to look at Brooke Burke's perfect post-kids body and keeping myself from vomiting with jealousy all over her to-die-for thighs, it is a favorite in my collection.

What I decided I need to do is measure my results to stay motivated and find my inner bombshell.

SO in the Finding My Inner Bombshell section to the left, you will see my weight and measurements updated for progress every 2 weeks. Yep I'm putting it all out there, and I will even be taking pictures so I can see that the time I am spending on this is worth it. I can't wait for the groundhog to tell us next week that spring is coming and the cold will be subsiding so I can get my fat ass out there and start shedding these unwanted (and heavy) saddlebags!

really?

So I was cleaning the toilets this morning (I really need to get thinking and invent a self cleaning bathroom. Of all the household responsibilities, that is my least favorite, and every week when I clean them I am not one to toil with), and my son walks in to ask me what I made him for breakfast. SO about that time I looked down at the toilet and the back and sides were coated with a light yellow glow. I just looked at him and here is the conversation:

Son: What?

Me: Really?

Son: What?

Me: Look at all this shit it's disgusting! Don't you see all this pee everywhere?

Son: I guess I see the pee, but I didn't do it.

Me: Really?

Son: I never use that bathroom.

Me: Well then WHO do you suppose decided to paint the toilet and and floor with this nice color?

Son: Maybe the girls did it.

Me: Really? They pee in their diapers, and haven't even thought of using a toilet yet. They can't even reach the door handle to get in here!

Son: Well then it was probably you!

Me: Are you serious? Last time I checked I sit when I pee.

Son: (Blushing at this point) Maybe it was Dad.

Me: Really He came home in the middle of the night from Afghanistan just to pee all over the bathroom and leave without us knowing? (Last time I checked there is no Jettson's teleporter anywhere in our house.)

Son: Well maybe he did it before he left.

Me: Doubt it. The toilets were clean before he  left and I clean these damn things every week. It wasn't dirty like this yesterday, and YOU are the only one in this house that stands up and pees right now. So I suggest you go eat your breakfast and then you will be cleaning this toilet.

Son: But I didn't do it. That's nasty. I'm not cleaning it.

Me: Well I am certainly not cleaning it. Ou will be doing it and that is the end of it. This better be the cleanest toilet I have ever seen when you are finished with it. I'll even leave the cleaning supplies for you.

Son: That's no fair!

Me: Life's not fair! Go eat your breakfast.

Son: But what's for breakfast?

Me: There are biscuits on the stove.

Son: Are they the kind with layers?

Me: I haven't bought those in years. I made biscuits and they are in the kitchen.

Son: (from the kitchen) Mom, where's my breakfast?

Me: I told you there were biscuits ready in the kitchen.

Son: But there's no plate ready for me!

Me: Are you serious? The biscuits are right there next to you on the stove and the plates are right above your head. Are you helpless now too?

Son: Maybe, does that mean I don't have to clean the bathroom?


Kids these days! Obviously I do too many things for him if he can't even find the biscuits on the stove! Needless to say I provided a little GPS support so he could get his breakfast ready, complete with directions to where the butter was located in the fridge. If he keeps this up I am going to have to teach him how to use the toilet paper again too! Please God, don't let it get that far! I even contemplated getting the toilet pee targets again to help the little darling practice his aim. The kid is 7 years old give me a friggin' break! (Oh and yes, he did have to clean that toilet, and he also had to clean his own bathroom, which he is required to  maintain daily).

Blog Design

You will be seeing some changes going on. I am trying to find my "look" The red was too dark and dreary. It just didn't put a smile on my face. I am not blog savvy, but I am learning about templates and buttons and all the fun stuff. So bear with me during the changes, and send me your input too. If you need help with your blog, head on over to & She has some great tips and shares some blog design secrets. Thanks Jo-Lynne!

Mama Cass Sewing- The Daily Funny

SO I have great aspirations to learn how to sew, and since I submitted the final for the tortuous medical transcription class, I have had a little extra play time when the kids are napping. I decided to give sewing a whirl. So the first couple mintes were fine. I decided I was going to make a plastic bag holder out of an old pair of my son's jeans. I got everything ready, set up the sewing machine (which my neighbor thoughtfully left threaded for me - thank's Eric!) and was ready to go....

I sewed a straight line! Yeah me!- -

This is a huge feat. The last time I even thought abut sewing was in high school when we had to sew a mole for chemistry class. It was not a good experience. In fact, it was the first tim my mom had heard me drop the F-bomb (about 100 times). We decided that sewing  made me bitter, and mom gave up all hopes of me helping her in her business of custom draperies and home furnishings.

Well, domestic as I have become, I figured if I can conquer bodily functions from 3 kids, canning, cooking, cleaning, pets and marriage, then certainly I was ready to take on sewing. I was feeling good coming right along and then pop! Oh Shit! The thread broke What was I supposed to do now?! I took a deep breath and figured out how to thread the machine, or so I thought. Everything looked good so I started sewing again, the 3rd out of 4 straight  lines that I needed in order to complete my project. I was done, I did it, I could sew! Then I turned my project over and it was nothing but a cluster-a jumbled mess of thread that frightened even the seam ripper. My project was doomed. The kids woke up and mommy duties were calling. I packed up the sewing machine for another day.....

2 days later I read the manual and looked at all the pictures to thread the machine and insert the bobbin. Let me tell you that it looked like my infant twins drew these pictures and I am not sure how anyone new to sewing could ever decipher them. This is sewing not rocket science, come on people give me a freakin' break! After I felt that I had gained sufficient Singer sewing machine knowledge from perusing said manual, I decided to apply it and headed to the table to try my luck at sewing again. Within the first 3 movements of the needle there was a loud popping noise equivalent to a BB gun, and all I could think was Oh FUDGE! I did it I shot  my eye out! After making sure both eyes were in place and functioning properly, I came to my senses. I had merely broken a needle because obviously the bobbin carriage was not properly placed. After fumbling with it for at least 20 minutes, I consulted the hieroglyphics in the manual again. And again attempted to get everything threaded, and in working order. Another 3 movements of the needle and BANG! shooting across the room was another broken needle that scared the dog so much she felt the need to leave the room! I wonder if she was afraid of her eye being shot out too...

Needless to say my first and second attempts at sewing were unsuccessful. They say the 3rd time is a charm. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Coupon Organization

So for one f my new year's goals I wanted to get organized. There are several areas of the house that we will work on throughout the year, but my 3 biggest trouble spots are my car (which I had my son clean out so that is clean and organized now!), my bedroom (which seems to collect everything that doesn't have a home), and my coupons. So today I thought I would tackle the latter, and get to saving more money. SO I decided to upgrade from an accordian style coupon organizer to a coupon binder. So I found an old binder laying around with no purpose and decided it was the one. I added baseball card pages (35 of them) and also picked up some cute post it plastic tabs that I labeled each page according to category. I also stuck in a few zippered pouches so that I can keep my list for the 3 major stores I go to (Kroger, Target, and Walgreens) in each one along with the coupons I intend to use for that store. I also purchase a lot of items at the commissary, but it is easier to retrieve coupons as I go through each aisle. I am excited to finally get organized and can't wait to go to the store later on without having to shuffle through all of my coupons in each aisle. I am hoping that this makes my shopping trips easier and faster (With 3 kids in tow any improvement is awesome!) I will post some pictures of my binder and maybe you will be inspired too! (Be sure to follow my coupon progress on the Coupon button to the left.)
I do have great aspirations however, that in my ques to learn to sew in the upcoming months, I will make a cover for my binder something like the one I found on CouponClutch.com . It is my favorite that I have seen so far. So one day whe I get ambitious I will have one too! (Or maybe I will get lucky and they will want me to do a review on it!)

Random

So I am sooo close to finishing a course in medical transcription that has taken me what seems like eons to complete. I just can't get motivated to do it, and quite frankly I would rather be punished to gnarfle the garfunk than to dedicate my time to this course. That being said, I better get in gear and get it done so that maybe I can get a job torturing myself daily with dictations from doctors that speak with their mouths full or cover the microphone just for giggles. This was one of those "bright ideas" I had for contributing to the income while staying home with the kids, and maybe just maybe I will get lucky and be ble to earn a decent living listening to the speaking-challenged doctors of the world.

But seriously, who wants to hear abot that. There are so many other interesting subjects I could ramble about like snow days and who decides them- The kids have been out of school for the past 2 days for a mere 3/4 inch of snow on the ground and today, when there was actually some accumulation in the morning they had to go to school! And what is the problem with kids today that they have no imagination an are definitely not resourceful? My son got a sled for Christmas which was funny to me because here in TN we don't get much snow to speak of and I live in a neighborhood with a very flat yard. SO I looked out the window, and there were 3 boys on the sled going down the steps to my deck! lol that was the best they could find. They also slid down the rails without the sled and kept replacing the snow for the next ride down. lol. After I stopped laughing, I informed them that just down the street there was an empty lot with no houses that had the best sized hill around. After that discovery it was hard to get the kids to come inside. They had been outside for 8 hours without a break, warmup, or hot chocolate! Now that's what I am talking about. Why can't it be like that in the summer? The kids try to come in the house about every 15 minutes complaining of the heat and being bored lol. So I give them popsicles and tell them they have to play outside until dinner is ready. lol. Kids these days!

Store X

So i ventured to my least favorite place on earth today-that I will call Store X. What was I thinking? I can't remember the last time I had a pleasurable experience at that store. I would rather pay FULL PRICE than to go to Store X. But I took my son to the Lowe's Build and Grow Clinic this morning where he made a really cute game box, and right there next to us in the aisle were their discounted houseplants. I couldn't resist! They had the neatest looking rubber plant and no pots that went with it. Off to Store X I went. After going into the dark depths of the store, I finally managed to make my way beyond the toys, Christmas clearance, and ridiculous storage items to a part of the store that few people venture this time of he year... the garden section that now looks like an abandoned warehouse, actually more like something you would see on hoarders than anywhere I have ever been. It was full of Christmas gift rejects, broken Power Wheels with dangling side view mirrors, Barbie bike with missing tassels, fire pits with caved in tops, grills stacked as high as the ceiling, and finally there in the back were the leftover pots. OMG Stupid me, what was I thinking?  I should have just surrendered there before even crossing the threshold, but no, I was determined to find a pot for my cute little rubber plant. With little to chose from I scoured the shelves for a diamond in the rough. There it was on the top shelf in the back where no one would ever know...so I had to find some help to get this big ceramic pot down.....The lady that came looked more like a close cousin to the snuffelupagus than the friendly Store X workers that are portrayed on commercials. A little scared, I asked her to help me get the pot off the top shelf. She scoured and let out a shrill command to a biker with a Store X vest on who was sitting in the corner. I could only think that he had been sitting back there watching me through my garden section adventure and was honestly a little creeped out. So the diamond in the rough turned out to be almost the price of a small diamond and I chose another more affordable pot and moved on to the checkout line. The mother in front of us was watching and scratching herself while her children licked every candy bar in the aisle. The cashier seemed to operate in slow motion taking what felt to be 5 minutes to scan each item. A guy came up in line behind me, and judging from the stench, it had been at least 5 days since he had a good washing. About this same time, my twins decided they too were done with their Store X experience. I couldn't take it anymore I had to get out of there! I quickly exited the line, and left my second rate pot, hoping that none of us caught anything from the woman scratching herself in front of us or the filthy guy behind us. I think I will stay in for the rest of the day!

The 2011 Garden Preparation

So last year we had a decent-sized garden and grew a few fruits and veggies for our family. This year, it is a whole new ball game. We were able to learn some different tricks last year and researched a lot of ways to improve our garden. This year here is what we are going to have

Veggies: Green beans, peas, carrots, parsnips, peppers (red, green, and banana), onions, garlic, tomatoes (cherry, roma, and brandywine).

Fruits: Grapes, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, apples, peaches.

Herbs and Spices: Basil, Parsley, Oregano, Cilantro, Rosemary, Thyme, Mint, Chives, Dill.

Get ready for some great garden tips and recipes! I am so excited!

New Year New Goals

I know I have have been absent lately but the holidays brought so many things to go and see and do. But I am back! .....So here we are at the beginning of a new year and I have so many things to be thankful for! Great family, great friends and countless opportunities for success in the new year. I have made a few goals to get the year started right Here they are:

Learn to sew, knit and crochet.
Begin my own business.
Establish a food storage.
Volunteer more.
Get in shape!

Tell me yours!