The Good Wife

My Valentine's Day gift to all you ladies! This article was given to me by one of my husband's friends just before we got married. He told me this was the key to a happy and successful marriage! (Thanks Brett!)  It was an article printed in the May 13, 1955 issue of Housekeeping. I have to say some of this is actually pretty good stuff! (Don't get your panties in a wad ladies-read all the way through my comments are in red.)

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. I typically have dinner ready within 15 minutes of my husband getting home from work (this gives him time to take a shower before joining us for a family dinner which is very important to me).

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. I am guilty of running to the bathroom just before he is supposed to be home (or when I hear his car pull up) to give my hair a quick brush and make sure I look presentable-Don't judge me! (he doesn't know this...and again this is more for me than for him. If I feel good about the way that I look it makes me happy. I want to always feel attractive and sexy, especially when he is around.)

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. I am pretty boring too, but I usually have a story about something the kids did, or neighborhood gossip we can both laugh at.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. I am guilty of doing a quick run through the house before dinner to pick up anything that needs it- this is more for me. If these things are done before dinner, then I feel less guilty about sitting down on the couch after the kitchen is cleaned up. I feel that since my hubby works his ass off for 12-14 hours a day that it is my responsibility to take care of things in the house. I rarely ask him to help with household things, but he does voluntarily do dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc on a regular basis.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. We don't have a fireplace, but if we did, it would most likely be lit because I love fires. They are soothing, relaxing, and smell good too.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. Yeah right- that never happens. We have 3 kids and 2 of those are twin toddlers- Our house is NEVER quiet unless the kids are sleeping! 

Be happy to see him. I am always happy to see him. He is, after all, my other half.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. There is usually a smile because I am happy to see him, and I do sincerely want to be pleasing as a wife, but in order for me to please him, I first have to be pleased with myself. In other words, if mama's not happy no one's happy.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. See next item.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems. I usually give him undisturbed time as often as possible to wind down after his day- It makes for much better conversation and allows him to adjust from soldier to husband/father. I also try to save any bad news or complaints until after dinner if at all possible. I also try and take care of all problems before he gets home if possible. After all the crap he has to deal with everyday, if I can take care of some things on my own, it makes things easier on everybody, and allows us to spend our time together doing things we enjoy instead of solving the day's problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work. It is often that he has to work late, and that's just the way it is. If he needs to stop somewhere after work, he always calls, and if he wanted to go hang out with the guys all night, that's ok by me, and sometimes encouraged! We all need our own time and sometimes that means going out with friends without the spouses.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. There are nights that I will pour him a glass of wine with dinner when I am pouring my own. It's just common courtesy, and he does the same for me. And if either of us are  making a drink after dinner, we do the same thing.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Sorry, he is on his own for pillow fluffing and removal of the boots!

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. I have every right to question him and I ALWAYS express my opinion (even when it is not requested) and he respects me more for it.

A good wife always knows her place. yeah, yeah, right in front of the stove or sink lol


1 comment:

  1. Cassie--you are an example to me. I want to be this kind of woman. I have a few months without Scott to not worry about these things, but when he gets back. This is going to happen. Thanks for posting this!