Terrible 2's and Chuck E Cheese...Shoot Me Now

I was forced to go to to Chuck E Cheese this week for a birthday party. If I were asked to describe hell, I am pretty sure it would sound like Chuck E Cheese. I loathe this place and only go if I absolutely have to. I have never voluntarily taken my children there. I'm not sure why I hate it so much. It could be because they removed the ball pits which were a childhood dreamland, and it could be all the noise and kids running amuck like they are in neverland in need of parental guidance. It's a toss up, but it never fails, every year some parent will give in to their child's request to spend their special day with Chuck E, and I get sucked in to chaos. This trip started off just like any other: Grab the kids and a gift and go. I was totally wrong in thinking I could bring the double stroller to the mouse circus in an effort to tame my twins. Once we were inside, they stayed in the stroller about 3.7 minutes before their brains could no longer handle the stimulation overload surrounding them, and they just had to get out! They tried to escape the hypnotic spell the animated Chuck E had on them, but it was no use. They were doomed to submit to the chaos and enter the neverland portal. Before things got too out of hand, I was able to bribe them back to reality with pizza (with my gluten allergy pizza is definitely a delicacy at my house and when the kids see it, you would think it was ambrosia or some other life altering substance. The girls devoured the pizza looking like mogwais that get fed after midnight. It was really a scary event, and then afterwards we entered the realm of Chuck E's play land. The girls didn't know what to do or where to look first. I was able to calm their stimulation high with a few rides on the carousel. There for a few minutes the little darling looked like angels with bright shiny smiles. Really I think I saw a faint glow of  a halo appear over their little heads...Then the carousel stopped....OMG it was then that I was certain the terrible 2's had begun. Heidi proceeded to throw herself like a limp bowling ball across the floor wailing as if she was the victim of some horrible form of child abuse. (This has happened a few times in the past couple of weeks, and I am awestruck and surprised each time.). I typically ignore the behavior and move on with whatever task I am doing, but when 200 people at Chuck E Cheese silence themselves and stare at you like you are some criminal, you have to take action. We quickly located the slide and toddler play area which magically made everything right in little Heidi's world. She went up the stairs and down the slide at least 150 times, and even managed to persuade Meja to go down the slide with her. Then there were cupcakes...The girls love cupcakes. They can't resist the sweet goodness and creamy frosting. Oh and there were sprinkles... shut the front door. There is nothing that can stand in the way of these little angels and cupcakes...except me. The girls are going through the "I want to do it myself" phase which is really fantastic most of the time (especially since I know from experience that that phase is soon followed by the I wipe my own ass phase which really gets me excited!) Although they are skilled in eating and feeding themselves, the opposite is true for keeping themselves presentable and somewhat clean while doing it. When the girls finish eating cupcakes at home, they usually resemble Augustus Gloop after falling into the chocolate river, not a pretty site! So I thought it would be in everyone's best interest if I just fed the girls myself. Meja had no problem with me feeding her. It was a cupcake, and she didn't care how it got in her belly. Heidi, of course, disagreed with me and there was a second limp bowling ball display. This time I think she managed to throw herself almost 2 feet, which could be new personal record...There was no one around but friends to witness the wailing display so I was able to ignore it this time, and when she was worn out she got up gave me a hug and it was done. I decided to take the girls for another spin on the carousel before leaving hell that night, and I am happy to say, there was no fit this time, and after 2 hours of Chuck E torture, I was able to go home and drink away the horrible images that happened at the Chuck E prison camp.

1 comment:

  1. Ha, ha! I think it is so funny because I have been there too. By there I mean the tantrums and cupcakes and I do it myself phases. We have also been to Chuck E Cheese. If my children were old enough to play the games on their own it wouldn't be so bad. But I have to walk around with them and help.