Terrible 2's and Chuck E Cheese...Shoot Me Now

I was forced to go to to Chuck E Cheese this week for a birthday party. If I were asked to describe hell, I am pretty sure it would sound like Chuck E Cheese. I loathe this place and only go if I absolutely have to. I have never voluntarily taken my children there. I'm not sure why I hate it so much. It could be because they removed the ball pits which were a childhood dreamland, and it could be all the noise and kids running amuck like they are in neverland in need of parental guidance. It's a toss up, but it never fails, every year some parent will give in to their child's request to spend their special day with Chuck E, and I get sucked in to chaos. This trip started off just like any other: Grab the kids and a gift and go. I was totally wrong in thinking I could bring the double stroller to the mouse circus in an effort to tame my twins. Once we were inside, they stayed in the stroller about 3.7 minutes before their brains could no longer handle the stimulation overload surrounding them, and they just had to get out! They tried to escape the hypnotic spell the animated Chuck E had on them, but it was no use. They were doomed to submit to the chaos and enter the neverland portal. Before things got too out of hand, I was able to bribe them back to reality with pizza (with my gluten allergy pizza is definitely a delicacy at my house and when the kids see it, you would think it was ambrosia or some other life altering substance. The girls devoured the pizza looking like mogwais that get fed after midnight. It was really a scary event, and then afterwards we entered the realm of Chuck E's play land. The girls didn't know what to do or where to look first. I was able to calm their stimulation high with a few rides on the carousel. There for a few minutes the little darling looked like angels with bright shiny smiles. Really I think I saw a faint glow of  a halo appear over their little heads...Then the carousel stopped....OMG it was then that I was certain the terrible 2's had begun. Heidi proceeded to throw herself like a limp bowling ball across the floor wailing as if she was the victim of some horrible form of child abuse. (This has happened a few times in the past couple of weeks, and I am awestruck and surprised each time.). I typically ignore the behavior and move on with whatever task I am doing, but when 200 people at Chuck E Cheese silence themselves and stare at you like you are some criminal, you have to take action. We quickly located the slide and toddler play area which magically made everything right in little Heidi's world. She went up the stairs and down the slide at least 150 times, and even managed to persuade Meja to go down the slide with her. Then there were cupcakes...The girls love cupcakes. They can't resist the sweet goodness and creamy frosting. Oh and there were sprinkles... shut the front door. There is nothing that can stand in the way of these little angels and cupcakes...except me. The girls are going through the "I want to do it myself" phase which is really fantastic most of the time (especially since I know from experience that that phase is soon followed by the I wipe my own ass phase which really gets me excited!) Although they are skilled in eating and feeding themselves, the opposite is true for keeping themselves presentable and somewhat clean while doing it. When the girls finish eating cupcakes at home, they usually resemble Augustus Gloop after falling into the chocolate river, not a pretty site! So I thought it would be in everyone's best interest if I just fed the girls myself. Meja had no problem with me feeding her. It was a cupcake, and she didn't care how it got in her belly. Heidi, of course, disagreed with me and there was a second limp bowling ball display. This time I think she managed to throw herself almost 2 feet, which could be new personal record...There was no one around but friends to witness the wailing display so I was able to ignore it this time, and when she was worn out she got up gave me a hug and it was done. I decided to take the girls for another spin on the carousel before leaving hell that night, and I am happy to say, there was no fit this time, and after 2 hours of Chuck E torture, I was able to go home and drink away the horrible images that happened at the Chuck E prison camp.

I Could Kiss that Groundhog!

First off, I apologize for my hiatus. I was abducted by the spring weather and hypnotized into spending all my time outdoors instead of online. I could just kiss that groundhog for being correct! Here we are just 6 weeks later and spring is definitely here! I have to admit the sunshine has been good for me. I feel like the gray cloud above me has disappeared, and things are once again right in the world. I think I was depressed by the apparent time warp we went on in fashion this year. I swear if I witnessed one more legwarmer, especially those paired with a high top, I may have been driven to make a fashion police arrest.

    

And here is a public service announcement: Spandex is not for everyone. Wearing it is a privilege, not a right! Just because Jennifer Lopez is a host on American Idol does not give everyone permission to don her Fly Girl Look. I am convinced that even  Jenny From the Block could not pull off the ensemble these days.

So now we have moved on to asses peeking from the hem of the shorts and mini skirts paired with Uggs. I really should stop there and keep my comments to  myself, but that's just not like me. First of all, I was appalled when shopping for shorts for my twin toddlers. At 18 months, I am positive it is offensive, not to mention trashy to see a diaper hanging out of the bottom of the shorts, but this is all I could find. So, needless to say, my girls will be wearing capris and keeping the characters on their diapers left to the imagination until I find the time to make them some shorts myself...(Stay Tuned for the Next Battle of the Bobbin!)

It just got better last weekend when we were at a local Irish festival. I swear if my kids ever even think about wearing anything so trashy as what I saw there (or if my son tries to bring one of these hoochies home) I will flip and my kids will be locked in a tower until further notice! I couldn't believe it! There was more skin on the streets of Erin than is allowed at most gentleman's clubs. I know as a teen, I too tried to push the limits with fashion and when you are developing a body, it is natural to want to show it off, but all day my husband and I kept looking at each other with the omg did you see that eyebrow raise. So many brow raises were done that I in fact have developed bursitis of my brow muscles! Thank God for my parents who helped me to tame the hoochie looks and taught me that less (skin showing and Tammy fay makeup) is more (flattering), and that ladies should leave some things to the imagination!

Now to all those girls who have been convinced that Uggs and shorts are attractive, lets take a look at this 

 Uggly boots which I consider to be the black hole of fashion. Really? Unless you are an Eskimo living in -30 degree temperatures and sporting a hefty parka, you my friend should not be wearing Uggs.

So in addition to judging everyone's fashion mishaps (while I wear jeans, a tee, and chacos), I have also been enjoying the life that is springing up all around! The tulips are blooming, as well as  many other bulbs in our garden, and my hubby planted lots of new plants for me ... roses, begonias, phlox, grapes, blackberries, peach tree, and the list could continue for days...I am so excited for everything to mature and flourish in my yard I can't stand it. I am so impatient, I have been examining the plants daily and tracking their progress in photos. It really is an addiction.

I also finally passed the medical transcription final and should be receiving my certificate in the mail any day now! Hello job interviews....how I have not missed you! Last week, I revamped my resume for the transcription field and began submitting. I am crossing my fingers for a gig to come along soon with an easy-to-understand English-speaking doctor. In the meantime, you can find me with the kids outside enjoying the fresh air!

Mama Cass Reviews: Coupon Chief

Mama Cass Reviews: Coupon Chief: "Ever wonder where everyone gets all those great promo codes when purchasing items online? You know the ones all the other moms are bragging ..."

I Think I'll Name Him Stan!

So for the past several weeks, my son has been begging incessantly for me to allow him to start wearing deodorant (He is 7!!). He has been coming to me with some pretty convincing arguments:

• All my friends are wearing it.
• I get really sweaty when I play outside.
• I don't want to stink at school.
• My teacher told the whole class we should wear deodorant.
• Real men wear deodorant.
• and the list goes on...

He even had went through the sale ads and contrived a mental list of the different brands he felt would be the best suited for him. lol Mom, what about Speed Stick, that way when I run fast, I will stay smelling good. Or Right Guard, that sounds like it works good! My uncles wear Degree, and they don't stink too bad, maybe I could get that one, or my personal fav...Dad wears Old Spice! Now that's what a man should smell like! lol.
So for weeks I have been denying him deodorant telling myself that he is too young for it, and won't need it until puberty begins, and didn't I read an article some time ago about the negative effects an antiperspirant can have on the glands if it is not needed or overused? Then he came home smelling putrid after playing basketball and various other outdoor quests for a few hours. It was one of the worst stenches I have ever witnessed! It also happened to be a Sunday and he immediately walked in and began perusing the ads, remarking again about all the different brands, and finally came to a new request...Mom, if I can't have deodorant can you just get me some Axe, so-and-so wears it!. Um, NO! That stuff stinks almost as bad as you do right now! Go take a shower! So I let a couple days go by and each day he came in from playing smelling a bit worse than the day before, still chatting and trying to convince me he needed deodorant...I agreed, It was time!
So before school one morning, I broke out a bottle from the stockpile...I showed him how to put it on correctly and sent him out the door with his daily philosophic quote...Now that is what a man should smell like! lol.
So after school he comes home really excited...

• Mom, I played so hard at recess, and was so sweaty, and Guess What?!?!
• What?!?! I said with anticipation....
• I didn't stink! I just smelled like deodorant, and someone (definitely a girl) said I smelled good today!

Oh, God help me, it has begun I thought...but no it gets better... He went upstairs after finishing his homework to change to go out and play, running down the stairs like the house was on fire, I hear:

• MOM!!!
• Oh no I thought, "What happened?"
• You HAVE to SEE THIS!!!
• Now that I knew there was nothing to worry about, and my house was not in fact erupting with flames, I calmly asked what he needed to show me....

• It's AN ARM PIT HAIR!!! It must have grew while I was at school! The deodorant helped it grow! I'm a man! I have armpit hair! and he strutted out the door!

LMAO! I laughed not having the heart to break it to him that it was probably just a stray lint or small string from his shirt. lol. So now he has been bragging to all of his friends telling them that he wears deodorant, has an armpit hair, and he's a man! I really expected him to name said hair like he saw in an episode of Zeke and Luther. That would have just made my day even funnier, but the arm pit hair shall remain nameless, for now!

Trip to Italy?

Love cooking? Have some yummy original recipes? Check out the list of recipe contests below for your chance to win lots of great prizes! Good luck!

• Crisco is having a recipe contest where you could win a trip for 2 to Italy! The recipe has to have a Mediterranean feel to it and include at least two tablespoons of 100% Extra Virgin, Pure or Light Tasting Olive Oil and a minimum of two of these ingredients: tomatoes, garlic, olives, pasta, yogurt, legumes, fresh herbs, lentils, cheese.- you can enter as many recipes as you want, but the contest ends March 18. Crisco Mediterranean Inspirations Recipe Contest

• If baked goods are more your forte then try the 45th Pillsbury Bakeoff. You must use at least 1 ingredient from List A and a second ingredient from either List A or List B in at least the quantity specified here. Hurry contest ends April 18.

• Do you use cereal for meals other than breakfast? The folks at Post want to taste your creativity! They are rewarding winners with $1,000 in free groceries in their Post Natural Advantage Recipe Challenge, ending March 17.

• Have a breakfast recipe everyone loves? Enter in the Just a Pinch Rise 'n Shine Breakfast Challenge for your chance to win a trip for 2 to Nashville and a $1,000 shopping spree at Viking! Contest ends April 15.

• Are potatoes your specialty? Enter a photo of your best twice baked potato recipe in the Twice Baked, Twice as Smart Recipe Photo Contest for a chance to win $500! Contest ends March 7.

•  King of the Grill? Enter the Better Homes and Gardens Grilling Showdown Contest. Upload your best original grilled recipe along with a video of your grilling techniques. Earn up to $5,000 and a new grill! Submit your entry by March 15.

 

• Sweet potato connoisseur? Enter the Sweet Rewards Recipe Contest for your chance to be published in the Louisiana Cookin' magazine and win some great prizes. Enter by June 7. or blog about it and enter the Sweet and Healthy Blogger Recipe Contest by April 11 for a chance to win $2,000!

 

• Do you use beef to create amazing meals? Submit your entry to the National Beef Cook-Off for a chance to win $25,000 and a trip to the Metropolitan Cooking and Entertaining Show in Washington, DC! Contest ends April 30.

 
These should keep you busy in the kitchen for a while creating some yummy new recipes or perfecting old favs. I'd love to try out your recipes and feature some of the tastiest ones here on my blog. Email me at mamacassadventures@yahoo.com  Happy Cooking and Good Luck!