Mama Cass Sewing- The Daily Funny

SO I have great aspirations to learn how to sew, and since I submitted the final for the tortuous medical transcription class, I have had a little extra play time when the kids are napping. I decided to give sewing a whirl. So the first couple mintes were fine. I decided I was going to make a plastic bag holder out of an old pair of my son's jeans. I got everything ready, set up the sewing machine (which my neighbor thoughtfully left threaded for me - thank's Eric!) and was ready to go....

I sewed a straight line! Yeah me!- -

This is a huge feat. The last time I even thought abut sewing was in high school when we had to sew a mole for chemistry class. It was not a good experience. In fact, it was the first tim my mom had heard me drop the F-bomb (about 100 times). We decided that sewing  made me bitter, and mom gave up all hopes of me helping her in her business of custom draperies and home furnishings.

Well, domestic as I have become, I figured if I can conquer bodily functions from 3 kids, canning, cooking, cleaning, pets and marriage, then certainly I was ready to take on sewing. I was feeling good coming right along and then pop! Oh Shit! The thread broke What was I supposed to do now?! I took a deep breath and figured out how to thread the machine, or so I thought. Everything looked good so I started sewing again, the 3rd out of 4 straight  lines that I needed in order to complete my project. I was done, I did it, I could sew! Then I turned my project over and it was nothing but a cluster-a jumbled mess of thread that frightened even the seam ripper. My project was doomed. The kids woke up and mommy duties were calling. I packed up the sewing machine for another day.....

2 days later I read the manual and looked at all the pictures to thread the machine and insert the bobbin. Let me tell you that it looked like my infant twins drew these pictures and I am not sure how anyone new to sewing could ever decipher them. This is sewing not rocket science, come on people give me a freakin' break! After I felt that I had gained sufficient Singer sewing machine knowledge from perusing said manual, I decided to apply it and headed to the table to try my luck at sewing again. Within the first 3 movements of the needle there was a loud popping noise equivalent to a BB gun, and all I could think was Oh FUDGE! I did it I shot  my eye out! After making sure both eyes were in place and functioning properly, I came to my senses. I had merely broken a needle because obviously the bobbin carriage was not properly placed. After fumbling with it for at least 20 minutes, I consulted the hieroglyphics in the manual again. And again attempted to get everything threaded, and in working order. Another 3 movements of the needle and BANG! shooting across the room was another broken needle that scared the dog so much she felt the need to leave the room! I wonder if she was afraid of her eye being shot out too...

Needless to say my first and second attempts at sewing were unsuccessful. They say the 3rd time is a charm. We will see what tomorrow brings.